


we dreamed, you and i, until you ran away

by mirroroflit (volunteer_of_hufflepuff)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Shadowhunters: The Ficlet Instruments, Week 18: In Vino Veritas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 20:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21464164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volunteer_of_hufflepuff/pseuds/mirroroflit
Summary: "I love him," Magnus repeats into the unforgiving quiet of the apartment. "I love him. But why, why wasn't I enough?".Or: Magnus fumbles with his broken heart, and no one but his cat is there to listen to the shattering of his heart.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34
Collections: Shadowhunters: The Ficlet Instruments





	we dreamed, you and i, until you ran away

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [sh_ficletinstruments](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sh_ficletinstruments) collection. 

> **Prompt:**
> 
> Oh boy. When someone gets drunk, a lot of truths come out.
> 
> .
> 
> it's more of Magnus' painful introspection and spilling his heart out.
> 
> *pulls out my fic* angst, anyone?

They say drunken words are sober thoughts.

So is that why, when Magnus is way past tipsy on tequila, he falls down on to the soft carpeted ground next to Chairman Meow?

Perhaps.

His sobs shake the carpet.

"Why." The word escapes, almost soundlessly, like a wisp of wind. "Why did he - why did he _ leave _ me?"

The apartment is silent but for the purrs of his cat.

No one is here, no one will ever be here, to mend his shattered heart.

It's only his apartment now, not theirs or ours or _alecandmagnus'_, entwined eternally into one.

"I love him," Magnus repeats into the unforgiving quiet of the apartment. "I love him. But why, why wasn't I enough?"

The forms have been signed, filed, locked into place.

_ There's no going back. _

Alexander has disappeared, from one moment to the next, in some perilous instance when he decided that Magnus' love is pointless, meaningless.

Magnus' world has crumbled, and there is no one he can burden to build it back up.

Lying down, he can see the groceries of ground beef and mozzarella cheese from before, when he was still a fool in love with a ring in his pocket, lying splattered on the grey linoleum floor.

Chairman Meow meows, stretching his paws and butting his head against Magnus' fallen face.

"Did I not love him enough? Did I speak with too much haste, too much carelessness, too much assuredness in our everlasting eternity?"

This time, someone answers his broken plea, crossing over the shards of his heart.

It’s his cat.

Because who else does he have, now, in this era of complete desolation?

Chairmen Meow rubs his head against Magnus', purring.

"Right," Magnus says with a weak chuckle, "alright, I'll stop moping, I'll-"

Chairman Meow cuts across him with an indignant meow, sharp and curt, like even he knows that Magnus is trivialising his life's ongoing tragedy.

Magnus has fallen, fallen from love, fallen from grace.

The tequila sits bitter on his tongue.

He had come home at noon, and then his life had been obliterated into uncountable fragments of agony.

Now the clock ticks away to midnight.

Magnus can't stop crying, can't stop his heart from shattering, can't stop his mouth blurting out his heartbreak to his cat.

But there is someone in this apartment who still loves him, so he should feed his cat, and shelve his woes for another rainy day.

He won't -

Magnus gets up on unsteady feet, tears dripping to the floor.

He won't -

Magnus' breath shudders out in a broken gasp.

He won't have to wait too long, only till tomorrow, a birthday forevermore spent alone.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed?
> 
> [the question mark is because it is incredibly angsty, but in all honesty, all comments and kudos and other things are all appreciated.]


End file.
